Hello people. it's been weeks i haven't write anything here since i was so busy with my senior year during this earlier months. today, i'd like to write another random thought of mine which is really makes me realize, how fortune i am to be with everyone that i adore the most and lovable. they are the matters that makes me realize, not everyone in the world could get this luck though. they always be my side no matter how cruel and clueless the world is. they never get tired to hear the same story i told them about. they know me even at my darkness, but they love me still. they are just like a human diary for me and soul.
"The older you get, the more you realize that it isn't about the material things, or pride or ego. it's about our hearts and who they beat for." -R.A
Just like those quotation, we will get older soon. no different between me and you though. i'm not going to be a teen anymore and i will say this year going to be my last teen. but it isn't about the number we've been through. but it is more about how we could survive with our ego. because we are as the young generation is labeled as unstabble human alive. and everyone get a rough life even with different kind of ways. and the main important thing is, how you can dissociate between what you want and what you need. because there are no more instants nowadays. if you want to achive something, you must work for it. hm..i mean like, money doesn't come from a tree leaves, right? and who is the one behind all of your success? of course, there is people. that people will encourage you when others just mock you. but dont quit just because they tease you. shock them. tell them. and prove them wrong.
And me, personally i have a lot people. but of course in "A lot" title there are "some" people that influenced me around. and i always pray to god they are not the fakers. i've loved them just a little bit too much. they are the reasons why saying goodbye is hard as hell. then, i must to tell them.. just come as you were, as you are, and as i want you to be. and i love to make them happy with my kind of ways too. i dont know why, but i have my own happiness to see them happy too. even sometimes it probably would hurt me. but it's ok as long as they are happy and so am i. then, we all know that not in every relationship is go straight without any storm in it, it may breaks you and sometimes our ego just so damn huge. but i prefer to swallowing my pride than to lose people that i love. and i want them to STAY STAY STAY for the rest of mylife. is it too much for ask? i know, people will leave even they make promise to stay but i will hold them on no matter what. but if it hurt them because i hold them too tight, they have their wings to fly and they have their right to be free. but they have their root to come back and have so much excuses to stay again:)
And i am going to introduce them anyway hehehe
-Dear Father and Mother
me absolutely not the kind of well-good-daughter-behaviour. but obviously the well-good-raised-daughter-alive. i was born in a little but yet a harmonic family. she gave me birth at Sept, 15/1996. just like another mom, she could be so annoying because she talks a lot things do(s) and don't(s). but she knows me best. and i am not going to lie, but i can't live without her. she is my futere-mom-role-model. a woman career & perfectly good mother and wife. And dad.. just like another daddy around the world, he works hard to pay our living. he has been struggle a lot. this years lately, dad talks a lot. or is it because i am mature enough now to understand what family is. he is the most lovable father and romantic husband for the century. my mom and dad currently in LDR for years, if i may say since i was a baby. because my dad working outta town. but they keep each other heart only belong to them. they've been struggle a lot too. the more i get old, the more i understand what the true love is. i see it in them though. because so far, i have no trust issues with anyone because of them. they teach me lessons what teacher could not. i desprately in love with them.
-Dear Ulfah Aulia
I may be not the good bestfriend she ever had but she is absolutely the wonderful bestfriend i ever had. no no, it is not a compliment though, it is real. i called her ule or marule though. i haven't see her for 3years since we graduated at middle school. and she moved outta town. thats why i only could see her in virtual. she is not only the bestfriend, but she is a sister to me. my another half and soul. she fits me perfecly good. i guess she is the another me in another body and soul. she is annoying. she is just like a trumpet. she talks a lot and i almost deaf because of that. hahaha sorry but i am not sorry. she is the best teaser that ever lived. she is beautiful but yet at the same time she is ugly too. she is smart and fool at different kind of stuffs. she is the best-listener in the world. she is the best debater fyi. so, for the lately 3years we talked over the phone, we chatted over the phone, we saw over the phone, we cried over the phone, we mocked over the phone, we gossip over the phone. she knows me really deep. i told her almost everything. everything that may be i could not tell my parents about but with her, i am totally naked. she means the world to me. see you soon! xoxo.
-Dear Putika Nuralida Herdin
Dont you think you are the most beautiful woman in human being darling? if i am not mistaken, yes absolutely you are. she is just like my older sister to me. she is so fabulous. she is damn smart and it could make every girl jealous her. well, its been less or more 6years we've been know each other. she taught me right from wrong. the last time i saw her was like about 5months ago at yogyakarta. yes, she studies there. and i will come afterward sooner! Hm, talk about putika, she is good at speaking in public. she is a good artist and singer. her drawing just masterpiece and her voice just like a beautiful lullaby. she has a positive energy in her soul. she thinks forward. when i need to solve my shits, she always helps me. and i dont know why, but her advice just fit perfectly in me. or is it because her charisma just too high? hahah lol. she is the most wiser-woman i've ever know. if my all fingers were thumbs, then i would give them all. then, 2thumbs up for you babe! you know, you are the goddess!!!!
-Dear Hasya Fayiatha
This is the first chair-mate i've ever had in high school. i still remember the first time we met. hm, you were alone with empty chair beside you and i was late for entering class and when i wanted to take a seat in the middle of line but it all were full so, the left over was beside you. and i know why everyone didn't take that seat. it was not because you are ugly or because you taste bad. but because you seat exactly near teacher's desk. but you were on the left and i was in the right side. so, i was the nearest one. but it was ok, you were good though and you still are. talk about asa (as i called her so) she is pretty and good. she is just like my human diary at school. she knows me a lot. we have seen each other cry. she is sometimes fragille but yet she is the strongest woman i've ever know. she loves her family so much. and she gives me a lot of advices that sometimes i follow nor i deny. but most of all, she is the best mate i've ever had!
-Dear Abun wong
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| me-manda-arina-mia-meisy-rachel-nadia-intan |
I dont know since when we are unite as abun wong. i mean like, it's not like a group. we are more like a close friends since middle school started. we were not as close as for now. i admit it. because not all of us in the same classes. but because our class still in the same coridor, then yeah we got closed eventually and i thought it because we are in the same group of cheers for CC. hm i still remember our victorious though hahaha. but, times flies so fast and we are now in the same high school. we have different soul but yet still in the same thought. the facts that we shared, we cried, we spill on someone, we suck, we fought, we loved, we cared, make me believe that we are so fit in. we may not have a lot of time to sit together or like a-full-team bestriend but i know wherever and whenever you guys are, we still keep remember each other. i love you to the moon and back, buddies! xoxo
-Dear Chalimah
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| me-tiwi-meisya-bella-audia-jihan-indri |
I knew them about 2years ago. we are in the same classroom. till now, i still didnt get it where the hell the word "chalimah" came from. hahaha. it sounds funny though. we are partner in crime yes indeed. but also partner in study, hang out, gossip, and sharing. from them, i can learn so much lesson. they teach me lives. they are super fabulous though. and they could be a great mocker at the same time. they came to mylife as what were they are. they show me a lot of things that i couldn't ask for more about what-your-bestfriend-criterias. because they all fit in. they have different kind of think, different kind of life style, different kind of hobbies, different kind of ambitions, different kind of caring. but we have the same kind of loving. that what really matter is. see you in a years, buddies! when we are already reach what we really want today. when we are being the real "human" soon.
-Dear Muhammad Rizky Rahmatullah
The last but not least, the only man (after my dad of course) that i put so much efforts on and time with. he is the new person in mylife but already had so much effects on me. through hell and heaven. i never asked him to entering mylife anyway. he came with his way and his purpose. he is my classmate tevens as my friend then growing higher as my bestfriend and finally touch a very sensitive spot of my heart, A lover. i still dont know where the-special-spot i see in him. hm, i mean like... he is reckless. and so far away from my criteria. but i know when it comes to love, you eventually will be blind. i know we are not like another couple. we are different. we really have our mind thinking differently about being together. as long as we still know where our heart belong, it is okay. and i know it still couples of months of being together, but it feels like i know him for a years. we totally have different behaviour. he's noise and i'm quiet. he's humorious and i'm serious. he's slob and i'm neat. he talks a lot and i talk a little. but with those differences, we fill each other emptiness. he knows me at good & worst. and so am i. it feels like he has a naked soul to me. he teaches me no matter how long it will take time, it will worth in the end. to be honest, it's my first time to hangin around only with one person with no status. when i had a hundred of excuses to leave but the fact that i had a thousand conditions to hold could not deny. and i know it must be the very first time too to him for not being able to every girl because he has me. and the rest of it, i must say thank you. thank you for teach me new things. thankyou for saving my 18ages and make it extra fascinating. i love you, even with your darkest side.
And i'd like to thank everyone that always support me through everything. just because i didnt mention you in this post but doesnt mean you absolutely mean nothing for me. no, not at all. i hope we are all not a pretenders though. be positive and positive will leads you:) xoxo- F
And i'd like to thank everyone that always support me through everything. just because i didnt mention you in this post but doesnt mean you absolutely mean nothing for me. no, not at all. i hope we are all not a pretenders though. be positive and positive will leads you:) xoxo- F
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